


Afraid

by MeredithBrody



Category: Designated Survivor (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-07 22:58:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13445187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeredithBrody/pseuds/MeredithBrody
Summary: Seth's afraid, but can he do it anyway?





	Afraid

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hideous_Sun_Demon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hideous_Sun_Demon/gifts), [Fibi94](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fibi94/gifts).



> So, [Hideous Sun Demon](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Hideous_Sun_Demon/pseuds/Hideous_Sun_Demon) prompted this little thing by reminding me that this song existed. So I wrote this by and large on the Tram as I went to and from Manchester today.
> 
> The song is "Afraid" by Curtis Peoples

_**I’m afraid of walking down that aisle** _   
_**But I don’t know why, I can’t say why** _   
_**I’m afraid you give way too much to us** _   
_**And I never give enough** _

There were days when Seth Wright didn’t actually believe his luck. He wasn’t the type to believe that things happened for a reason, but at the same time, he didn’t know that there was anything else that explained how he could have met someone as perfect for him as Kendra Daynes. For the first few months they knew each other he had just seen her professionally, she was the lawyer of the group and she was great at that, but that was all. Of course, at that time he’d had an ill-fated and badly executed crush on Emily. That relationship had almost ruined him, and now he was just afraid.

That had been over for more than a year now, but even if he sat and thought about it he wouldn’t be able to say how and when he’d started a relationship with Kendra. It had been the most natural thing for them, in the end. She had started spending time around him after he broke up with Emily, both she and Lyor being his constant companions and his witnesses in any meeting with his now former girlfriend. Then they’d started getting dinners, first in their offices then at her place. Before he knew it they had been sharing a bed and he had no idea how it had happened. Neither had been planning on a relationship and yet here they were.

Not only that, but Seth was planning to do something that he’d never even considered before, but he was absolutely terrified of actually doing it. Though he had dragged Lyor out to buy a ring with him. He wasn’t sure how much he was supposed to spend in something like this, but he’d spent more than what he earned in a month, but now that he had it there were so many questions in his mind. He knew that he loved her, he knew that she was the most gentle soul on the planet, but Emily’s manipulations still lived in his mind. He knew that it was all in his head, but he was still thinking about it.

“Have you asked her yet?” He heard, and looking up he saw Lyor coming around the door. That had been his first question every time they’d seen each other for a week, and every time Seth had just dropped his head and given it a shake. He wanted to ask her, he knew that she was the love of his life, but he was still afraid for a reason he couldn’t explain. Maybe it was because it had come about in such a casual way he didn’t know how to make the leap to asking something more formally.

All these doubts played on his mind to the point that he didn’t know anymore if the decisions he was making were the right ones. He knew logically that this was one of the lingering effects of his relationship with Emily, but that wasn’t making it easier for him to know his kind was right. He knew that Lyor would tell him the truth no matter what. “Am I doing the right thing Lyor? Am I really doing this for the right reasons?” As he asked it it sounded ridiculous. He knew that this was right.

“I don’t know about you, Seth, but I think if you consider asking and she’s not pregnant it’s probably for the right reasons.” That was a surprisingly simple way to look at it, and Seth knew that Kendra wasn’t pregnant, it was one of the things she was most disappointed about every month, so while that could one day be a consideration, it wasn’t right now. Right now that was just something else that would hopefully come with time.

“How do I even know if she wants to?” He asked as that was the biggest fear that he had right now. That he would ask and she would say no. She would say she wasn’t ready to get married or, worse, she wasn’t ready to get married to him. That was his worst nightmare and while he didn’t believe it was actually something that was going to happen, but he wanted to try and prepare anyway.

“We’re talking about the same woman, right. Pretty, curly brown hair, has mentioned how much she wants a family every time she’s seen Penny Kirkman since she started working here?” Despite Lyor’s sarcasm, Seth knew that he was right on that. Kendra did want to be married, and she wanted a family, but that didn’t stop Seth worrying about her option. “Kendra Daynes who is so madly in love with you she risked her own reputation to take on the former chief of staff?” Seth hadn’t remembered it that way, but he’d also not been on the best of places back then.

All in all, Seth knew that Kendra was going to be thrilled, but his fears kept building up and he didn’t know how to stop them. Maybe that was the issue, at this point the only way to get them to stop was to suck it up. “We are but... I’m still so afraid to ask her.” There was still always a chance that he could do something that she’d hate when he just wanted everything to be perfect. “What if I do it wrong?”

“Do it the way she’d most appreciate.” A way that Kendra would appreciate? That was harder than he thought. He didn’t want to propose in the White House, and he didn’t want to propose at home. Doing out on a date was so cheesy, and absolutely wouldn’t be something that Kendra would like, but there was one other place that Kendra loved and where she felt safe, and the last place she would expect anything. “You have an idea, don’t you?” Lyor had always been able to figure him out.

“Tell her to come to court on the Menendez contract in an hour.” Seth knew that Lyor would be able to bullshit a reason that Kendra had to be there. He had gone to law school and they spent enough time discussing the cases. Seth really, really should start paying more attention when they did that. Sometimes, Lyor spent as much time with them as they did with each other.

He was obviously momentarily confused about why Seth wanted that, but he was already heading for the door. As he reached it Lyor yelled after him. “Seth!?” It was an exclamation and a question all at once, but until he’d actually managed it he wasn’t going to say anything, he wasn’t going to risk jinxing this idea.

“I’m not afraid now.” He didn’t want to explain it to Lyor, though he was sure that his friend would understand what he was saying. Seth wanted to get it all done now, and he wanted to tell Kendra that she meant the world to him. This was really going to be the only chance he had, so he was going to do it and he was going to do it in a way he knew that Kendra would adore.

_**Maybe that’s the reason why it’s so hard to say forever**_ babe  
 _ **I can see 10 years from now, but tomorrow’s unclear**_  
 _ **I get so afraid sometimes that I don’t know what to do**_  
 _ **But I’m not afraid to love you, I’m not afraid to love you**_

He managed to convince a friend who worked in the courthouse to let him use an unused room. There was only the one, and it was only free for a couple of hours, but that was more than long enough for what he had planned to do. He didn’t set anything up, he just stood and waited, watching the clock and thinking over everything he could say. He wanted to say that he was thankful for what she had done for him, she’d helped him get free, helped him expose Emily for who she truly was… But those weren’t the things that he wanted to focus on. He wanted to focus on the future, not the past. When she walked in he thought she looked like a dream, the most beautiful woman he’d ever known, and somehow she had decided to be with him. God, he really was lucky. “Seth? What are you doing here?” She asked, a hint of confusion in her voice. The only time he’d ever been in court before she’d been there with him, too. Though then she’d been defending him.

“I didn’t think there was anywhere better for me to be right now.” He went with vague because that was going to throw her off even more. They hadn’t really spoken about marrying each other, though as Lyor had pointed out he was fairly sure the entire White House knew Kendra’s thoughts about getting married. So, he didn’t think that she would guess he was here to propose.

“I’m supposed to be here for... You set me up?” She asked, looking around as she realised there really wasn’t anything to do with the contract that needed to be discussed. She put her bag and the files down on the closest bench and started walking up to the front, to where he stood in front of the judge’s bench.

“For a good reason, I promise.” He smiled, and when she reached him he took hold of her hands and smiled. Now was the hard part. The part where he needed to actually do what he had been thinking, but his mouth was dry and, for a writer, all of the ideas had slid out of his mind. He floundered for a second and then just started speaking.  “We’ve been together a while now...”

“Ten months.” Of course, she knew exactly how long it had been, that was the kind of thing that she’d remember. He still didn’t know the exact time, but clearly, she did and maybe there would be an opportunity one day to ask her when she knew that they were going to be together, and when she knew that he was worth putting all her hopes on.

Not that that truly mattered, not right now. Right now what mattered was how he felt about her. “Ten months... And every day I wake up just excited to spend another day with you, and that hasn’t been a feeling I’ve ever had before.” That was the real reason he had wanted to ask her, he realised. It wasn’t any of the shit he’d said to Lyor, though that was all true too. It was just that he looked forward to being with her, even if they weren’t doing anything other than working. “You’re smart, so much smarter than I am, and you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, and you’re funny... you actually get my jokes.”

“You’re pretty amazing yourself, babe.” Kendra smiled in the break between his thoughts and Seth almost winced at her throwing his rhythm off, and he had to gather his thoughts again while she just looked at him. He still didn’t know whether she’d figured out what he was here to do.

“Kendra, just let me...” He said quietly, squeezing her hands and then looking into her eyes as he spoke about the less happy things, the things that lived in his mind that he couldn’t always control. “I’m afraid every day, that I don’t do enough to show you how much I love you, to help you with your problems, to love you the way that I’m supposed to.” Fears were a good thing to have started on, because it gave him an opening, one that he could use. “Most of all I’m afraid of what I’m about to do but I know that I don’t need to be. Because through all of this I have you, and you make everything seem easier to handle.”

Kendra just froze as Seth dropped down to one knee, still keeping hold of both of her hands as he looked up at her, and it was clear that this was the moment she realised what he’d brought her here to do, and he was spurred on a little by the look of pure joy that crossed her face. “Oh, Seth.”

“Kendra Daynes, will you let me have the joy and the honour of being your husband?” He wasn’t asking her to be his wife because she was worth so much more than that. She deserved to have a husband, not to be someone’s wife, and that was the distinction his mind had made as he asked that question. The seconds felt like they stretched forever, and he almost took it all back before he saw her nod, and jumped back up to wrap his arms around her and kiss her deeply, despite the tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Of course I will, you silly goose.” She whispered when he pulled away again, resting his forehead on hers as he smiled. He did it, he finally did it and this was the reward. He was going to be able to marry this wonderful, amazing woman whom he loved more than anything and anyone he had ever known. “I love you.” She said quietly, her hands on his chest and smiling just as widely as he was.

“I love you” There was no need to add too, there was no need to qualify it. They loved each other and that was important. As they stood there for a few moments he realised that he had never even got out the ring, so he pulled back a little and pulled the small satin box out of his pocket, opening it slowly. “Look I even have a ring.”

“It’s beautiful.” She smiled as she studied it, and Seth had to admit that Lyor had good taste. He knew what Kendra would like, and on top of that, he knew what Seth would give. He had been the perfect person to take ring shopping with him. After a few more seconds of smiling at it Kendra chuckled and Seth looked up to her. “Do I have to put it on myself?”

“No, no I could do that for you.” He stuttered a second before taking the ring out of the box and slipping it on to her left hand. As he did he studied her fingers, smiling at the smudges of pen ink on her fingers, remembering again that she was left-handed. As he looked at it he smiled even more because this was all just the start. “The future Mrs Daynes.”

Kendra’s teasing smile just grew a little more. He knew that smile, that was the smile where she could imagine everything that was going to happen in their lives. He didn’t mind that she was thinking about that, he was thinking about it too. “The future Mr Daynes.” She ended up saying with another smirk, and Seth just rolled that around in his mind for a second.

“You know… I could get used to that.” He smiled, and he really had absolutely no issue taking her name if that was what she wanted. Seth also knew that Kendra would let him make the choice, and that was what he was going to do. The choice was already made, really. He was going to get to spend his life with someone he loved to the end of the world, what did a name really matter compared to that.


End file.
